I Want to Be Moe Like Charlie

Last night I had an epiphany.
Full transparency, I have, like many others, been having quite a rough time of it during 2020. Medical issues aside, the onslaught of bad news had wiped my ever-present smile completely from my face during a year that began with me having the audacity to post “I have a 2020 vision for success! This is going to be my year!” In the words of the late Little Richard, “Shut up!”

The year started off great. I was happy as a clam to attend the great Capricorn Studios relaunch in Macon in December. That seems like a lifetime ago. Same with the book signing I did here in Spartanburg with my friend Paul T. Riddle in January. Then came Covid-19. At first it seemed like a bad dream, but it was, and is real. Add to that the insanity of the world, the unbelievable racial profiling and outright murder of African Americans. Watching Lovecraft Country last night and seeing the way the black folks were treated by white police in the mid-1950’s really shook me to the core. The reason being, it is still happening, 65 years later. On the HBO series, three African Americans encounter some creepy horror movie monsters, but their encounters with Southern white folks are scarier than any monster.

So the killings, the violent protests that followed, along with the loss of jobs, closing of businesses, closing of movie theaters, an end to live concerts and fan attended sporting events – all of that began to wear me down. Badly. Add to that the loss of so many great entertainers and several close friends, it became a weight I wasn’t sure I could shoulder. Depression. Anxiety. Fear. They all came a calling.

After my friend Joe Greene died a couple of weeks ago out of the blue, I started obsessing about my own mortality. I was lying awake at night worrying about death. Yes, I was raised a Christian, and yes, I believe. Still, there was an innate fear that worked its way into my mind every night.
Last night I had a dream. I was talking to my parents, both of whom have been dead for many years, just sitting and talking, and in the dream, I told them that I was full of fear, dread and anxiety, but that I had somehow experienced an epiphany. The fear had washed away and I had come to realize that 63 is by no means a death sentence. Neither are health issues. We all have to die, but there’s absolutely no reason to fear death.

I came to the conclusion that I want to be more like my friend the late Charlie Daniels. Charlie stood up for what he believed in. He did everything in his power to help those in need, and he did his best to spread love and to share his faith to anyone who would listen. Charlie set quite a shining example of a life well lived.

For the rest of my life, whether I live to be 100 or if I burn out like a light bulb tonight, I am going to live every day as if it’s my last. I am going to practice love, more than ever before. I am going to strive to be slower to anger. I’m going to mind my own business. I am going to do better at practicing tolerance for human beings of different races, creeds, religions, political affiliations, or sexual orientation. I am going to walk five days a week. I am going to write every day. I am going to play guitar four days a week. I am going to get out of the house more, socially distance, with a mask, but I getting out of the Buffalo Hut. I am going to call friends. E-mail and texting just isn’t the same. I am going to hand write more letters and read even more books. I am going to strive to be more Christ-like, and be the best man I possibly can. Just like Charlie.

-Michael Buffalo Smith
  August 26, 2020

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Say it Ain’t So, Joe

When I was editor of EDGE Magazine in Greenville, SC back in 1991, it was some of the most exciting times of my entire life. My friend James Irwin and I started the free bi-weekly alternative entertainment tabloid that very year, along with help from Charlie Bergman and David Morris. I am sad to say that all three of these great guys would fall victim to the awful HIV demon and leave this life, never to be forgotten by those of us who knew them.

We had joined forced with a few like-minded Greevillians (we were from Tryon, NC at the time, except for Charlie, who hailed from my home town of Spartanburg). Among the many great Greenville folks working with us were the often-hilarious Julie Wickliffe Moss and her husband David (who bought EDGE our first computer!), Mickie Ansel, John Wicklife, Bethany Williams, the late sweetheart Gail Gray, Phillip “Two Beers” Knighten, Gary “X” Arajou, the incredible Millicent Howell (sales director) and many others. Another very important piece of the EDGE puzzle came a bit later when the extremely talented (and impossibly athletic) David Windhorst joined the fray.

Of course, there was one person we hired as a sales rep that caught my eye in a huge way, one Jill McLane Greene. Jill was a dynamo in the sales department and I truly believe she was the reason EDGE kept going for several years until it was sold to Creative Loafing. What a smile. What a southern accent! What beautiful blue eyes. Of course, I immediately fell in love. She told me that she was going through a divorce from her husband Joe, the father of her two tiny children, Benjamin and Hannah.

We began seeing one another. The road was a bit rocky at first, as these things can be during a divorce when one partner “moves on.” But all of that is, as they say, water under the bridge. Before long, Jill and I were running into Joe at all of Ben’s football, baseball and basketball games and at Hannah’s dance recitals and chorus concerts. I started getting to know Joe and found him to be a sweet, loving father and a good man, often very funny, like his father, Papa Greene, who I was also blessed to know before his passing a few years ago. In fact, I grew to loving the entire Greene family of Travelers Rest, SC.

During the years I was dating Jill, 1992-96, and after we married on March 31, 1996, I often spoke to Joe when he would come over to get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. Believe it or not, he gave me some great advice on life with his ex-wife. A few “pointers,” as it were that actually helped my relationship. Now tell me that isn’t a real man’s man?!

At Jill’s memorial after she passed, I was a bit uneasy. She and I had separated, but I never stopped loving her. Not for a minute. In fact, I held out for hope of a reunion. She and I had started emailing back and forth. She didn’t want me to tell anyone, because she had been dating another man, and she didn’t want anyone getting upset. I truly believe that had she lived, our stars would have re-aligned, and the Moonwoman would once again join with the Buffalo. But that’s another story for another time.

Back to the beautiful memorial service. As I said, I felt uneasy. That is, until Joe and his wife Sandy came in. During the service, I sat with Joe and the Greene family. They welcomed me like one of their own. I will never, ever forget that. Good folks, them Greenes. Joe and I both laughed at some of the slideshow images that were projected on the big screen. Images of his life with Jill and the kids, images of my life with Jill and the kids, a few of her with the new boyfriend. My heart was breaking, but seeing my former nephews Zak and Gabe, and other family members and friends made me feel so much love, and I loved seeing the outpouring of love for Jill. Again, I would not have been able to hold it together had it not been for Joe Greene that night. He was my touch stone. The kids were way too upset. Joe was the calm in the storm.

In later years, I would see Joe at birthday parties for the grand kids, and he was always the same Joe. Funny and kind. I truly realize just how blessed I have been in many ways. One huge blessing was my wife’s ex-husband becoming my friend. How many guys have that blessing?

When my Daughter in Law Austin tested me a few nights ago that “Papa Joe” had died, all I could do was weep like a 63-year old baby. That wonderful smile and kind spirit had moved on to be with his Dad and family and friends in Heaven. I could just see him fishing in the clouds with Papa Greene. Our loss is Heaven’s gain.