Say it Ain’t So, Joe

When I was editor of EDGE Magazine in Greenville, SC back in 1991, it was some of the most exciting times of my entire life. My friend James Irwin and I started the free bi-weekly alternative entertainment tabloid that very year, along with help from Charlie Bergman and David Morris. I am sad to say that all three of these great guys would fall victim to the awful HIV demon and leave this life, never to be forgotten by those of us who knew them.

We had joined forced with a few like-minded Greevillians (we were from Tryon, NC at the time, except for Charlie, who hailed from my home town of Spartanburg). Among the many great Greenville folks working with us were the often-hilarious Julie Wickliffe Moss and her husband David (who bought EDGE our first computer!), Mickie Ansel, John Wicklife, Bethany Williams, the late sweetheart Gail Gray, Phillip “Two Beers” Knighten, Gary “X” Arajou, the incredible Millicent Howell (sales director) and many others. Another very important piece of the EDGE puzzle came a bit later when the extremely talented (and impossibly athletic) David Windhorst joined the fray.

Of course, there was one person we hired as a sales rep that caught my eye in a huge way, one Jill McLane Greene. Jill was a dynamo in the sales department and I truly believe she was the reason EDGE kept going for several years until it was sold to Creative Loafing. What a smile. What a southern accent! What beautiful blue eyes. Of course, I immediately fell in love. She told me that she was going through a divorce from her husband Joe, the father of her two tiny children, Benjamin and Hannah.

We began seeing one another. The road was a bit rocky at first, as these things can be during a divorce when one partner “moves on.” But all of that is, as they say, water under the bridge. Before long, Jill and I were running into Joe at all of Ben’s football, baseball and basketball games and at Hannah’s dance recitals and chorus concerts. I started getting to know Joe and found him to be a sweet, loving father and a good man, often very funny, like his father, Papa Greene, who I was also blessed to know before his passing a few years ago. In fact, I grew to loving the entire Greene family of Travelers Rest, SC.

During the years I was dating Jill, 1992-96, and after we married on March 31, 1996, I often spoke to Joe when he would come over to get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. Believe it or not, he gave me some great advice on life with his ex-wife. A few “pointers,” as it were that actually helped my relationship. Now tell me that isn’t a real man’s man?!

At Jill’s memorial after she passed, I was a bit uneasy. She and I had separated, but I never stopped loving her. Not for a minute. In fact, I held out for hope of a reunion. She and I had started emailing back and forth. She didn’t want me to tell anyone, because she had been dating another man, and she didn’t want anyone getting upset. I truly believe that had she lived, our stars would have re-aligned, and the Moonwoman would once again join with the Buffalo. But that’s another story for another time.

Back to the beautiful memorial service. As I said, I felt uneasy. That is, until Joe and his wife Sandy came in. During the service, I sat with Joe and the Greene family. They welcomed me like one of their own. I will never, ever forget that. Good folks, them Greenes. Joe and I both laughed at some of the slideshow images that were projected on the big screen. Images of his life with Jill and the kids, images of my life with Jill and the kids, a few of her with the new boyfriend. My heart was breaking, but seeing my former nephews Zak and Gabe, and other family members and friends made me feel so much love, and I loved seeing the outpouring of love for Jill. Again, I would not have been able to hold it together had it not been for Joe Greene that night. He was my touch stone. The kids were way too upset. Joe was the calm in the storm.

In later years, I would see Joe at birthday parties for the grand kids, and he was always the same Joe. Funny and kind. I truly realize just how blessed I have been in many ways. One huge blessing was my wife’s ex-husband becoming my friend. How many guys have that blessing?

When my Daughter in Law Austin tested me a few nights ago that “Papa Joe” had died, all I could do was weep like a 63-year old baby. That wonderful smile and kind spirit had moved on to be with his Dad and family and friends in Heaven. I could just see him fishing in the clouds with Papa Greene. Our loss is Heaven’s gain.